My Sun Through The Clouds

This weeks blog is about my bride Carolyn , who is my greatest supporter, my best friend and my confidence . Carolyn  and I met twelve years ago in a creative writing class in Sunbury. I was lost when we met . I’d given up on the notion of ever falling in love again. I felt depressed, trapped. I thought that my life was mapped  out. That the way I was living was just the way it was. My days were full of work and my nights were long and empty.  I reckoned love was something that happened to handsome young men , and I didn’t feel handsome and I sure  didn’t feel  young.

After we’d met we started writing to each other. Little letters weaved their way through the posties hands and with each delivery we discovered more about each other. She told me she liked my writing. Told me about her life and I wrote back and told her about mine.  I couldn’t believe that this beautiful creature was writing to me. When each letter arrived I’d read it like my life depended on it, and looking back now I reckon it did.

We fell in love swapping letters. She wrote. I wrote . I’d never been any good at courting. First dates, making conversation, stealing a first kiss and ordering wine at a restaurant weren’t my strong suit. But with a pen and paper I felt I could just be me. I told her about my world. My kids. My fears. My failings. Caz signed each letter, ‘ God bless you,’ and as the letter writing continued I knew he had.

Like call good romantic comedies our path took a few turns to the left and right before we became a couple. Caz had two young children and I thought I was too set in my ways to become a step-parent. I moved away thinking I needed a fresh start.  But through it all we kept writing to each other.

The day before valentine’s day 10 years ago, we got married. I’ll never forget how beautiful she looked that day, because she looks just as beautiful  today. In our journey since  we’ve been through a lot. The young stepchildren are now young adults. We’ve supported each other through mental illness, family hassles, my midlife crisis . And through it all my Bride has been there helping me find myself. And teaching me how to like myself.

Carolyn  is a gentle encourager  . She loves me and the kids in a way that no one else could. She feeds me not just with stuff that goes into a bowl, but with stuff that goes into my heart. She balances the budget. Paints, draws and writes with  passion.  She loves cats and old people and Abba and Wham. She  gives so much of herself that at times I think she’ll break. But she never does.

For 44 years I felt ugly.  But thanks to her I now feel handsome. My Bride makes the impossible seem attainable. She’s the sun breaking through the clouds. She was the one that tells me to keep on trying . She’s the one that keeps on loving me no matter how many times I stuff up.

We share our days, our lives and  our dreams. We surprise each other. Sometimes annoy each other but through it all find a way to love each other. The weekend after next we’re off for a holiday to celebrate our anniversary. My bride has booked a little cottage so it will just be the two of us on a different verandah , talking, dreaming and laughing . Dont bother calling the mobile, Cause I won’t be answering.

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7 thoughts on “My Sun Through The Clouds

  1. Dear Barry,
    I am so pleased to read ‘My Sun Through the Clouds’…..it’s wonderful to have you back!!
    Take care and enjoy your anniversary. You are BOTH very special folk.
    Christine

  2. Barry you are wonderful. It was so lovely to meet the beautiful Carolyn the other day too. Her trinket box is now on my mantlepiece. Have a great anniversary!

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